Job Opening

Wanted: Commander and Chief for the USA

Must be well rounded, not too old, not too young, experienced, not a friend to lobbyist, never taken drugs, happily married with 2.5 children and at least 1 dog. Need to be able to juggle the free world’s economy, accept blame for war, poverty, poor education, housing crisis, unemployment rate and economy. Must have a thick skin because Americans will rip you to shreds for everything from the clothes you wear to the word choice you used in a speech. You must be willing to appear on TV, including Saturday Night Live, morning talk shows, and CNN. If there is a major storm, you will be blamed for engineering problems, and some may identify you as being in control of the weather. You must be a good listener as well. People will bore you with their lives stories, how they lost everything, can’t afford health insurance, a home or even find a job.

Your race and sex is unimportant. This is America, after all and we love everyone.

You will never be commended for feeding the poor, cutting taxes or sending millions of dollars overseas to feed, clothe and nurse millions of people in need. You will also never be smiled upon for keeping the USA safe-only made fun of because the lines in the airport security are too long.
You will be blamed for just about everything. Scrutinized for everything you say and the way you say it.

The pay? Not so good. But you do get your own plane, house, helicopter, limo and lots of “friends”. The work hours are long-really 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the next 4 years of your life. You will get to travel the globe, meet other leaders and talk all kinds of policy. You might get protested-or even worse-shot at by crazies who don’t like your tie.

Sound like the job for you?

Misty B.